Back from my 2 month sabatical from blogland!

Hello people..... people?? Are any of you still out there?! Wouldn't blame ya if you weren't - I've been MIA for so long.

Not sure why I took that time off... I think the pregnancy thing threw me for a loop and trying to switch to just being healthy and not trying to lose weight was disconcerting for me. I think I am very disappointed not to be thinner with this 3rd pregnancy... and I'm extremely concerned about gaining as much weight as I did with my first 2. You'd think these two things alone would help me keep on a healthy path, but oh no.... I jumped in and went for the complete opposite!

Anyway, time to lay it all out on the line and be honest.

I have gained weight. I am now 292 pounds. Scares the living crap out of me... as the 300 mark is looming right there. I'm not even sure if my scale goes over 300 pounds!! I picture me one day standing on it and it falling apart or sounding an alarm or something.....

Let me be perfectly clear... I am under no illusion that my weight gain is justified because I'm pregnant. At the moment the baby weighs about 1 1/2 ounces, so any fantasies about gaining baby weight are just that. Truth is my eating has been out of control. TOTALLY out of control. I can attribute a few stressful triggers for this, but I take responsibility for everytime I shoveled the food in, and I know I'm the only one who chose to eat when and how I did.

But just to make myself feel better, I'll list my stressors, as it will also catch you up on what's been going on..

Hubby's been away for almost 5 weeks of the last 8. And unfortunately bingeing has been the name of the game. BLAH. I just couldn't seem to get it together and climb out of the rut. I think I have now, but we shall see.

We are waiting to hear about 2 job opportunities that would see us moving. One across the world and one across the country. We'd prefer to stay in Canada, but that opportunity's not in the bag whereas the Israel one is... but it's taking them a long time to get the paperwork together and come up with the offer (5 months so far!!), and in the meantime the other opportunity has come up. To say the least, for a control freak like me, it's been a very stressfull year so far and I really really really just want to know what we're going to be doing. There's a million things to do if and when we do move, and the listmaker in me is chomping at the bit, but I refuse to start expending energy on planning when we don't know what's going to happen. I think I'm more anxious about the whole thing than I'm willing to admit - ESPECIALLY about moving to Israel.

In my 12th week, I came down with a pregnancy-related rash called PUPPP. It's probably the worst skin condition I've ever experienced and I could have HAPPILY itched myself to death. I think I would choose chronic pain over being so itchy 24-7.... it's a rare condition that occurs in about 1% of pregnancies and usually only occurs in the 3rd trimester, covers the WHOLE body - except the face - and it's SO bad that women often asked to be induced early just to get rid of it. Oh yeah, the only cure is to give birth and LUCKY LUCKY me gets it with 25 weeks to go!! Anyway, with my doctor only offering me me drugs to help control the itching - which included antihistamine everyday and doubling up on it at night so that I could sleep AND steroid cream (this for a woman who refused to take even ONE pill during either of her first 2 pregnancies), I was less than impressed and just a little distraught. To the point that my husband worriedly asked if I was considering terminating the pregnancy!!! Hadn't even entered my mind, but that gives you an idea of what agony I was in :( Anyway, I am happy to say that I found the solution (at least it worked for me) by reading anything and everything I could find on the subject online. And I kept reading about Dandelion root and how it had helped some women with PUPPP actually cure it and that it is safe to take while pregnant. I started taking it and it instantly helped. And I am glad to say that the rash has almost disappeared as has the itching. YAY!!! Can't tell you how stressed out I was about it and how distressing it was... thinking of being THAT uncomfortable for so long, and being VERY pregnant in the summer and not being able to wear short sleeves or shorts... especially if we're in Israel!! Trust me it was HIDEOUS. On an interesting side note, 70% of women who get it have boys... and one hypothesis is that because male fetal DNA has been found in biopsies of the rash, that my body is having an allergic reaction to that male DNA.... hmmmmmmm

Anyway, those are the 3 stressors that have CONTRIBUTED to my bad eating habits.... but I have done my best the last few days to curtail them and to get myself under control again. I have high hopes to stay under 300.... SUCH a scary number.

So that's it in a nutshell.... along with all the craziness that comes with having 2 young kids and oh yeah, I keep forgetting I'm pregnant!! I think I've been feeling more tired lately, but I'm not sure :)

Thanks to all my supporters out there - I've really appreciated your little nudges and I hope to be a bit more consistent going forward :)