March 1, 2008

Back from my 2 month sabatical from blogland!

Hello people..... people?? Are any of you still out there?! Wouldn't blame ya if you weren't - I've been MIA for so long.

Not sure why I took that time off... I think the pregnancy thing threw me for a loop and trying to switch to just being healthy and not trying to lose weight was disconcerting for me. I think I am very disappointed not to be thinner with this 3rd pregnancy... and I'm extremely concerned about gaining as much weight as I did with my first 2. You'd think these two things alone would help me keep on a healthy path, but oh no.... I jumped in and went for the complete opposite!

Anyway, time to lay it all out on the line and be honest.

I have gained weight. I am now 292 pounds. Scares the living crap out of me... as the 300 mark is looming right there. I'm not even sure if my scale goes over 300 pounds!! I picture me one day standing on it and it falling apart or sounding an alarm or something.....

Let me be perfectly clear... I am under no illusion that my weight gain is justified because I'm pregnant. At the moment the baby weighs about 1 1/2 ounces, so any fantasies about gaining baby weight are just that. Truth is my eating has been out of control. TOTALLY out of control. I can attribute a few stressful triggers for this, but I take responsibility for everytime I shoveled the food in, and I know I'm the only one who chose to eat when and how I did.

But just to make myself feel better, I'll list my stressors, as it will also catch you up on what's been going on..

Hubby's been away for almost 5 weeks of the last 8. And unfortunately bingeing has been the name of the game. BLAH. I just couldn't seem to get it together and climb out of the rut. I think I have now, but we shall see.

We are waiting to hear about 2 job opportunities that would see us moving. One across the world and one across the country. We'd prefer to stay in Canada, but that opportunity's not in the bag whereas the Israel one is... but it's taking them a long time to get the paperwork together and come up with the offer (5 months so far!!), and in the meantime the other opportunity has come up. To say the least, for a control freak like me, it's been a very stressfull year so far and I really really really just want to know what we're going to be doing. There's a million things to do if and when we do move, and the listmaker in me is chomping at the bit, but I refuse to start expending energy on planning when we don't know what's going to happen. I think I'm more anxious about the whole thing than I'm willing to admit - ESPECIALLY about moving to Israel.

In my 12th week, I came down with a pregnancy-related rash called PUPPP. It's probably the worst skin condition I've ever experienced and I could have HAPPILY itched myself to death. I think I would choose chronic pain over being so itchy 24-7.... it's a rare condition that occurs in about 1% of pregnancies and usually only occurs in the 3rd trimester, covers the WHOLE body - except the face - and it's SO bad that women often asked to be induced early just to get rid of it. Oh yeah, the only cure is to give birth and LUCKY LUCKY me gets it with 25 weeks to go!! Anyway, with my doctor only offering me me drugs to help control the itching - which included antihistamine everyday and doubling up on it at night so that I could sleep AND steroid cream (this for a woman who refused to take even ONE pill during either of her first 2 pregnancies), I was less than impressed and just a little distraught. To the point that my husband worriedly asked if I was considering terminating the pregnancy!!! Hadn't even entered my mind, but that gives you an idea of what agony I was in :( Anyway, I am happy to say that I found the solution (at least it worked for me) by reading anything and everything I could find on the subject online. And I kept reading about Dandelion root and how it had helped some women with PUPPP actually cure it and that it is safe to take while pregnant. I started taking it and it instantly helped. And I am glad to say that the rash has almost disappeared as has the itching. YAY!!! Can't tell you how stressed out I was about it and how distressing it was... thinking of being THAT uncomfortable for so long, and being VERY pregnant in the summer and not being able to wear short sleeves or shorts... especially if we're in Israel!! Trust me it was HIDEOUS. On an interesting side note, 70% of women who get it have boys... and one hypothesis is that because male fetal DNA has been found in biopsies of the rash, that my body is having an allergic reaction to that male DNA.... hmmmmmmm

Anyway, those are the 3 stressors that have CONTRIBUTED to my bad eating habits.... but I have done my best the last few days to curtail them and to get myself under control again. I have high hopes to stay under 300.... SUCH a scary number.

So that's it in a nutshell.... along with all the craziness that comes with having 2 young kids and oh yeah, I keep forgetting I'm pregnant!! I think I've been feeling more tired lately, but I'm not sure :)

Thanks to all my supporters out there - I've really appreciated your little nudges and I hope to be a bit more consistent going forward :)

32 comments:

Scale Junkie said...

YAY Leslie is back!!!

noelle said...

OMG I'd be eating my face off too! Hang in there girl. At least with the itching down hopefully you're not so irritable. It's so hard to take care of yourself when there are 3 little beings that need you so much, but keep trying mama!

Glad to see you back!!!

Diet Coke and Zingers said...

I'm so glad you blogged again. You no longer bloggittysuck, and that is a good thing... Sounds to me like you've had an especially rough go of it lately... Too bad eating never REALLY makes anything better, huh? Glad you got rid of that nasty rash too... YIKES, that just sounds miserable!

Anywho, welcome back to the blog world... Stick around awhile, will ya?

Carleen said...

good to see you're back!!

Dee said...

Welcome back...we've been waiting!

Sonya said...

WOW, that is a lot of stressors!!! I can totally understand. I have had a few stressors lately too and my eating has gone out the window. I STILL struggle with eating healthy (ie. fruits/veggies, well-balanced meals). Gurrr... I just can't seem to get it together this year. Sincer Xmas, I feel like I haven't been 100% on track. Pathetic.

I'm sorry you had to have that horrible rash. It sounds terrible. I'm glad you did some investigating on your own though and found something that works for you.
Keep us posted on what's to come in your life. Thanks for the update.

cheers!

Diet Coke and Zingers said...

Starting another two month sabatical, are we? ;)

Sephgirl said...

Wow Lesley, there sure is a lot going on in your life! Glad you worked out a healthier way of dealing with the rash - I got that at the end of one of my pregnancies and it was terrible. Glad to see you back. I haven't posted in a long time but I'm back and back on track! :)

fatfreakout said...

What's dangerous is accepting being fat, and you're obviously not doing that.

I love the line in your profile about revealing your true self. She's still there!

Diet Coke and Zingers said...

Okay... two months later... Time to blog again! At least tell me what's going on with the move and the baby!

Elmer said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
TinyTrim said...

I'm just checking in, too. How are things going? That rash sounded absolutely awful. I'm glad that you were eventually able to get it under control.

Chubby Chick said...

Hi, Leslie. I've been thinking about you and wondering how you've been doing. I hope you pop on here and give all of us an update soon! :)

brian7 said...

We all need help sometimes and when I needed some dual diagnosis treatment facilities help, I knew there was help out there.

qifei2012 said...

Widespread is a must have office environment in combination with personal use software package having innovative up graded and in addition pleasurable functions offer Office 2010 key. Up to date Microsoft Office 2010 Download continues to be created to much better by incorporating easy understanding uses the product with out specialist help.All the technique is uptodate and the exact computer software tend to be etra with many additional features Office 2010 download. office 2010

Brian said...

If you have troubles sleeping you should consider getting help for panic disorder treatment with care and compassion.

Tony Raz said...

For over 10 years I was an addict and needed heroin treatment help. When I got the help I needed, I could start living my life again.

Joan Brown said...

Thanks for the info. It can be really hard getting help for addiction. I was looking for outpatient detox and found many useful resources on the web.

stacy said...

Thanks for the info. Dealing with addiction can be hard and you should have an intervention for people you love when they need the extra help.

stacy said...

If you are looking for info on a drug treatment facilities then you need to do research and find the one that works for you. Thanks for the post.

Tina said...

Great info, thanks for posting. You should look into vi body challenge. It’s a really great product and shows results.

Joan Brown said...

I was facing addiction and wanted to go to a recovery school. These guys are the best and the really know how to help a person grow.

John said...

Great info, thanks for posting. If you’re looking for a really for info on heroin rehab then these might be the guys to help you out.

brian7 said...

Great info, thanks for posting. If you’re looking for info on adolescent growth after substance abuse then these might be the guys to help you out.

Brian said...

We all need help sometimes and when I needed dual diagnosis centers help. I knew there was somewhere I could turn.

Tina said...

When I needed to find a California treatment centers these guys made the difference. They gave me the help I needed and it made a big difference for the rest of my life. 4 years sober!

Joan Brown said...

This post was great. Really informative. If you need resources for a sober coach then you should check these guys out and get your life back on track.

John said...

Great info thanks for posting. Do you need info on inpatient eating disorder treatment? then you should really check these guys out they really take care of their patients.

Dallas said...

If you have troubles sleeping you should consider getting help for eating disorders programs with care and compassion.

Brian said...

Great info, thanks for posting. You should look into body by vi shape kit. It’s a really great product and shows results.

Brian said...

Great info thanks for posting. Do you need info on eating disorder rehab? then you should really check these guys out they really take care of their patients.

Brian said...

Do you need info on eating disorder treatment? It can really make a difference in your recovery.