November 8, 2007

Husband away = SCARY times!

So my husband left yesterday for a business trip for 12 days. He travels once in a while for work, and I manage to stay sane as a temporary single mom, however this time I'm finding myself in a big panic about eating while he's away.

First of all, he's the cook in our house. He LOVES to cook and I consider myself very lucky, however I find it's also made me quite lazy. On the whole I usually eat terribly when he's not here (not necessarily always WHAT I eat, but more like HOW). It's very rare that I'll actually MAKE something for myself and sit down and eat it... it's microwave this, heat up that, graze, graze and more grazing. And all while preparing my kids' healthy balanced meals (I know - it's messed up). When he's away is also when I usually have a nice binge session... probably because it's so easy... I don't have to worry about him finding any evidence, I can buy whatever I want when I go grocery shopping (we usually do this as a family), and I can look forward to when the kids are both in bed and I can sit down and pig out with no chance of being found out.

It's a mind frame I'm REALLY struggling with. That just cause he's away, doesn't mean I have license to eat crap, and I know it's this really immature part of me that feels *free* from watchful eyes (sort of like when your parents left you home alone), and that I need to take advantage of it. In reality he doesn't really watch me - probably because he hasn't a clue about the binges or my sneaking junk.

The addictive and habitual side of me is really feeling the pull of a good old comforting yummy filling binge (picture a fat girl with pom poms leading a binge cheer... give me a *B*!! give me an *I*!!.....). The only thing holding me back is that the inner healthy girl really wants to have a good weigh in tomorrow, and so keep telling myself that if I really want something then I can have it tomorrow on my *high points* day. I'm hoping I have a good weigh in and then just wont want it. I have to say that I'm happy I'm actually feeling *panicked* about him being away. Usually I secretly look forward to it! At least I'm being conscious about my binge and junk demons and not going into automatic binge pilot :)

I have tried to set myself up for success over the next 12 days by planning out my meals and stocking the house with healthy food. Exercise is a bit tougher, as I'm not able to get out for my long walks (walking with the kids does NOT equal cardio - think: "I want to get out and walk" - "Now I want to get in" - "You're walking too fast") . I have a few videos and of course the treadclimber. I just have to get my butt in gear and workout after they're both in bed. Unfortunately it's the LAST thing I feel like doing in the evening, cause I just feel exhausted. And the mornings are hard because they wake up at different times everyday. But I guess I will just have to. It will be good for my mental and emotional states as well. I do NOT know how single moms do it - I have much admiration!!

Wish me luck and send lots of *no binging* vibes!!


noelle said...

That is so totally me! My hubby works a few nights a week. I have always looked forward to those nights as the oppportunity to eat whatever alone on the couch while the kids are sleeping. Only now they are old enough to know that there once was ice cream and now there isn't any!

Hope you have a good WI. My answer to the exercise dilema? I actually go walking with my neighbor from 5:40 till 6:30 every morning. What am I thinking?!

Maddds said...

Sending you no binging vibes!! You can do this, you have a plan, now stick to it!! Remember nothing taste as good as being thin feels!!


Scale Junkie said...

I do the same thing!

Dee said...

NO binging! You can do it!

Dee said...

NO binging! You can do it!